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Can we really be anonymous?

January 19, 2011

I am having a hard time with trying to be anonymous, but wanting to post pictures along with the stories I tell.  My husband does not know I have this blog, but then again he has been gone for over a month and he probably doesn't know a lot of things that have happened since the middle of December.

I don't feel that I say anything I wouldn't say to him, or that he hasn't already heard.  Just maybe, there are things I complain about on this blog that I have never voiced to him, as I usually try to keep my chin up and be a strong hockey wife.  My concerns for being open about who we are is as follows:
  • I would never want to publicly embarrass him.  Hockey is a big sport, and a small network.  Everyone knows someone who knows someone else.  You have heard of the six degrees of is more like two degrees.  
  • Hockey fans.  Most are just that, fans...but then there are a few that can sometimes cross over the line.  It is a strange thought to give them access to your family like that.  Do they really need to know my husband cannot fold towels the way I like them folded?  (that is just a hypothetical example...we all know my husband NEVER folds towels!)
  • Once somebody knows who you are...there seems to be a small group of blog-bringer-downers.  These are the people that like to dig into your personal life and try to make everything you blog about look like either a fabrication or a lie.  I have seen it done to many well-known bloggers.  It is kind of sad.  
So you put all of those things together and it can make a perfect storm.  On the other would be nice to not stay anonymous because...
  • I could post my pictures that go with my stories.  Blogs are always so much better with pictures!
  • There are a few things I would love to blog about...but I cannot because it would be a dead give-away of who we are and where we live.
  • I wouldn't have to be careful about things I write...while at the same time, it would probably make me pause and watch my words when I should bite my tongue.
I am going to start posting pictures, but protecting our identity.  How am I going to do this?   In true hockey fashion:

Our Wedding Day!

Thoughts?  I might just have to put goalie masks on our faces.  That is, until I discuss this blog with my husband...then maybe we will be able to remove our masks and face the world!!

What are your thoughts on blogging anonymously vs. publicly?  Which do you choose, and how did you make the decision?


Heather (The Menu Mama) said...

This is a toughie. I opted to not be anonymous but I always make sure not to post specifics about where we live, when my husband will be gone, etc. I mention that I'm in the Denver area (because the altitude really messes with my baking recipes) but that's about it. So the people that know me personally, know about my blog but those that don't (hopefully) won't be able to find me. Can never be too careful, especially with little ones!

Your situation is a little different though, I imagine if you posted your hubby's picture people would figure out who and where you are pretty fast.

Laura said...

Hey!!! :) I'm glad i found your blog!! :) looking forward to following along on your life as a hockey wife too! I feel the same way with being anonymous... but we've had that discussion.. and since we're in sweden... this is somewhat of my outlet.. it's nice to write on here about what's going on.. so i can't hide where we are... and when it comes to who he is.. well.. i just never post anything bad about hockey or what we're doing in general.. so far ok... :) Hope all is well!! xoxo

Hockey Wife said...

Hilarious. I've struggled with the same things and had some of the same 'problems' that you bulleted above.

I blog anonymously because I started this way and never really felt like I needed to come out from behind 'hockey wife'. I'd write what I've written, regardless.

That being said ... it's not easy and it does make posting photos or recounting events a little more challenging!

Thank God for goalie masks, right?

KY said...

I posted the same question a few posts back on my own blog. Since my space started as more of a travel journal for our friends and family to stay connected with us while we came to Europe for the first time, it never occurred to me to be anonymous OR that people besides who I intended to could find my writings.

With all that being said - One of my favorite compliments that I've received thus far about my blog was that when the person reads my posts she feels as though we are sitting across the table from one another sipping on coffee and sharing stories. Since I've been keeping that in mind my readership and page views have tripped in the past month.

I like staying connected to my readers on a personal level. I exchange emails with a few and connected with a couple on facebook, they know my real name and location. Plus, I am working on monetizing my page and from what I've seen, I personally think that public blogs get more traffic and more $!

Since I've taken my focus so much off of hockey and added a couple of different things to sass it up and made my blog more about ME and MY interests outside of hockey, I'm not really concerned with superfans or others misconstruing my intentions - HOWEVER I do always make sure to keep things simple when I write about the team or hockey shenanigans because (as I'm sure we've all learned at one time or another through or own mishaps or other situations that have happened on a team) - anything that we say or do is directly reflected on our guys. I've literally seen raunchy news fly across the country from Worcester to San Jose by a 20 second phone call. This is one small hockey world we live in (you put it best with the 2 degrees of separation) and I ALWAYS keep that in mind when I post.

CMD said...

When I started my blog, I didn't reveal our names or pictures. But I knew right off the bat I wasn't going to write about anything that would embarass myself or my husband or put him in a compromising situation (luckily I haven't had to bite my tongue toooo many times yet.. :) ). If people really wanted to find out who we are, it would probably only take 5-10 minutes of Googling.. so it just wasn't worth it to me. I recently (and after consulting with my hubby) decided to add pictures but still keep our names off of it. One of the main reasons I started it was so our friends and families could keep up with what is going on in our lives, and we wanted to share pictures with them along with the stories. Plus then any of my readers who don't know us can put a face to a "name". Obviously there are pros and cons to both ways of doing it. Good luck with making your decision! :)

TexaGermaNadian said...

Wait, you didn't really wear hockey masks at your wedding. Ugg, so not a true hockey fan then, haha. jk. That is really clever though! I never made an effort to make mine anonymous, but then again I don't shout our names from the rooftops either. I agree, it walks a fine line....

K-Fun said...

So when I started my blog, it didn't even occur to me to be anonymous....and now it's obviously a little too late. Ha! Oh well....the only issues I have are blogging about work. I never do it. That's the only place I KNOW that I would catch any flack or have people bring me down. I've said what I do, but never blogged about it.

So on that note - talk to your husband and see what he thinks! I think you'd be okay to not name-names, but again I'm not in your network, so I don't know. :-) GOOD LUCK!

Wife on the Roller Coaster said...

I've been blogging anonymously for a year now, and I have never had any problems. I chose to remain anonymous because of my husband's career as well. Maybe one day I'll "out" myself. But for now, I'm just fine with leaving my name out of my blog (and my readers don't seem to mind too much!).

Great to meet you on BlogFrog!

Open Eyes said...

I originally started blogging as a way to keep both of our families and friends updated on our adventures. Keeping it anonymous never crossed my mind until others began to follow... so I simply removed our names. I personally do not worry much of the fans since they can gather any info they would like from the internet if they really want it.For the most part I keep certain things out of my writings however, some things are already well known so I share them... but I always ask my husband before posting if I think it may be questionable.

Nicole said...

I came over from some blog hop... Thirsty Thursday, maybe... LOL. :)

I veer on the side of anonymously but not completely. I never come out and tell people exactly where I live or my husband or step daughter's name. I only do that b/c who knows what the witch of an ex-wife would do if I put my step-daughter's name out there so I just don't put my husbands name out there either, especially b/c the damn ex-wife found my blog... but that's neither here nor there. You really are in a tight spot b/c like someone else said... showing your husbands face might put you on the map :) I wish I could offer some advice but the goalie masks are very cute :)

Susi said...

I do some kind of mix between the two of them. I rarely post pictures of people on my blog, and never post names of my home region or town.. but I'm not afraid of venting my thoughts and such. Some people may think I do it too much, but that's actually one main reason why I blog. it's therapy, in a way.