family            family            family            family

Is Fraud a Felony?

June 26, 2011

Fortunately, I am not blogging today from federal prison.  I must be honest with you,  I committed FRAUD the other day. I am not proud of it...but in a way, it was kind of funny!

Let me begin by giving you a little background.

  • I have been with my husband for over fourteen years.  
  • I have lived with him in his our summer cottage for thirteen summers.  
  • Before we dated...we both dated other people.
  • I am not a jealous person
  • There was a previous girlfriend of my husband that once lived in his our cottage twenty years ago.
  • We still have items that belonged to this previous girlfriend...and it doesn't bother me at all.
  • We will call this girlfriend "PAST GIRLFRIEND" for the remainder of my story.

Last week, I was making our bed...when the phone rang.  I answered the phone and received an automated message....

"This message is for PAST GIRLFRIEND.  If this is PAST GIRLFRIEND please press '1' now."

(What?  She hasn't lived here in over twenty years?  What could this be about?  Hmmmm...)

So I pressed '1'.....and a woman comes on the phone.  

"I am looking for PAST GIRLFRIEND"

(What do I say?  What is this about? What should I do?)

So, I did what any wife who answers the phone and is asked by a robot if they were their husband's ex-girlfriend.....


"Past Girlfriend, this is Francis with Blah Blah Visa, and we are calling about a past due payment of $622.34."
(OH SHIT...This is not good!)

You know that moment of panic when you realize that something you have done so innocently has started to turn into something much bigger than you originally expected?

  1. My first thought was to hang up, but I didn't want to get PAST GIRLFRIEND into trouble by making it look like she was avoiding paying her Visa.
  2. My second thought was to say I would pay it, and thank them for calling...then contact PAST GIRLFRIEND via facebook (if I could find her) and tell her to pay her bill.
But my conscience won, and I fessed up....

"I have to be honest with you" I told Francis.  "I am not PAST GIRLFRIEND.  PAST GIRLFRIEND is my husband's ex-girlfriend who lived here over twenty years ago......I am so sorry!"

"Oh, this is not you know what this is about." Snapped Francis. 

"I am sorry, I was just curious to know who was calling for PAST GIRLFRIEND!  I am not jealous or anything, I was just..."

"Well, if this ever happens again, I suggest you not play these games.  You have just committed fraud!"

So there you have it.  Curiosity killed the cat and made me commit fraud.  Everyone I have told this story to has found the humor in it...except Francis!  I suggest she lighten up a little.

Have You Heard??

June 19, 2011


The lovely ladies of For The Love of Blogs are having a SUMMER GIVEAWAY BASH, and you are invited!
I know what you are thinking......

"I never win anything!"

"It is too hard to enter those things!"

"There are never any good prizes!"

Well tell that to these people.....

These are two "naturists" who took a chance and played the lottery.....and won! (I am willing to guess they won't be spending all of their money on designer clothes!)
Forgive me, I digress....

Now that you no longer have any excuses for not entering The Summer Giveaway Bash from FTLOB, I am sure you are now thinking...

"How does it work, and how can I enter?"

Well, I am glad you asked!

Head over to FTLOB and check out all the information you need to enter and be one of the DAILY (yes, I said DAILY) WINNERS!

Daily giveaways will include (but are not limited to) gift cards, summer items, and more.....


*The cash giveaways will be awarded a little bit different than the other giveaways, so be sure to read the entire page for all of the ways to win!  

I cannot think of a better way to celebrate summer*...than a Summer Giveaway Bash with the ladies of For The Love of Blogs!

*OK...I would also like to celebrate summer by being able to order a swimsuit from Victoria Secret in a size small....and have it actually fit!

Poplin Blue....and a wedding too!

June 18, 2011

In the next couple of weeks, it will be my 8th wedding anniversary.  Since I waited almost six years to marry my husband....I have technically been living as a "Hockey Wife" for fourteen years!

I am sure I have mentioned before that I was a flight attendant while planning my wedding to my husband. I was based out of Boston...while my soon-to-be-husband was coaching in a city elsewhere.  As a typical bride-to-be does...I was pretty much in charge of planning the entire wedding.  We definitely worked together to choose the location, church, guests and reception site....and I was in charge of the remaining details.

Wedding colors: Sage green and Lavender

Wedding gown:  OBVIOUSLY!

Invitations, save-the-date cards, centerpieces, wedding programs, etc, etc.

I had envisioned my groom walking down the aisle in a black suit (we didn't want formal) a crisp white shirt, and a beautiful sage green tie to match my (seven) flower girls' dresses (thank you Target Easter dress selection).....

And so my story begins...

I was on a layover, and was headed toward the airport for another flight when I got a call from my fiance on my new cell phone....
Seriously...this was the "really cool" cell phone I had while I was a flight attendant!  It was so "small" fit in my carry-on front pocket!  (this will be important information...just wait!)

Anyhow... this is how that phone call conversation went....

"Hey hon, I am just headed to the airport, and I have two legs before I get home tonight....what are you up to?"

"I just bought a suit for the wedding."

"Oh great...besides, you can always use an extra black suit!"

"It's not is Poplin Blue."


"It is Poplin Blue, and I got a great deal on it.  I even picked up a shirt and a tie."

"What color is the tie?"

"Navy and gold in a diagonal stripe pattern."

I don't recall how the last part of the conversation went, as I was too busy picking up the shattered pieces of my wedding vision off the floor.  Of course part of me was pleased he had taken the initiative to go out and find a suit on his own...this meant he was excited about our wedding.  On the other hand (which was cut on a piece of shattered dream) I was not pleased with his choice of color selection.  I did have one question.....WHAT COLOR IS POPLIN BLUE?

As I waited in the hotel lobby to be taken to the airport, other members of my crew gathered, I asked them "What color do you think Poplin Blue would be?" (this will now be known as THE QUESTION)

Now if it were today in the year 2011, we all would have pulled out our iphones and googled the answer immediately...but my Nokia 5190 was the coolest phone between all of us, and it was no help.  

We arrived at the airport...but the only computers available were airline computers...which were basically using DOS...

We loaded the aircraft...but not before I had asked THE QUESTION to the pilots, the Customer Service Reps, the person loading my galley, and every passenger aboard the plane...

"Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome aboard Jet Poplin Blue Airlines..."

"The aircraft is equipped with emergency lighting that will illuminate a poplin shade of blue and lead you to your nearest exit......"

"We ask that you remain in your seats with your seatbelts fastened until this aircraft has reached a safe cruising altitude in the poplin blue sky..."

"We are pleased to be showing an inflight movie today for your entertainment.  Headphones can be found in your seat-back pocket.  Today's inflight movie is Poplin Blue Velvet starring Laura Dern and Dennis Hopper..."

I think you get the picture...and this is the picture I kept seeing in my head....
When I finally made it home, I was relieved to see that the Poplin Blue suit actually looked like this...
Although it wasn't what I had in mind....I managed to find a tie that had sage green and blue in it (the navy and gold tie was a definite NO!) and all was well in the end.  My husband still wears the Poplin Blue suit behind the bench...and I always smile when I see it.  It reminds me of the exciting days leading up to our wedding.  Besides...who needs a closet full of black suits?

In the next few weeks, I will be writing a post and this story will play an important role in it....stay tuned!

We interrupt this program.....

June 8, 2011

It should be no surprise that the Stanley Cup Playoffs have been on our TV each night!

The other night was Game 3....and my husband was planted on the couch in the living room watching the game.  As I glanced at the clock, I realized The Daily Show was about to begin....and I decided to retire to our bedroom to watch something other than hockey.

I propped up my pillows, turned on the Comedy Channel and looked forward to a little political humor about poor Anthony Weiner's weiner!  Of course I also turned on my computer to mindlessly browse the internet while I watched my television show.

My husband comes into the bedroom...strips down to his underwear and climbs in bed.  With no warning, he grabs the remote and turns on the remainder of the hockey game.

"Um, I guess I wasn't watching that...."

"Oh, were you?"

Could you imagine if I walked into the living room tonight during Game 4, picked up the remote and turned on The Real Housewives of Orange County without saying a word?