So you wanted to marry an athlete. I know that Khloe made it look like so much fun. If she did it, how hard can it really be?
You meet a basketball player, date him for two days.
Announce your engagement by showing off your huge and expensive diamond.
Field all those amazing offers to be generously paid for photos of the big event.
Why not video tape it for an 'E' television special.
which will then turn into a hit spin-off to your current reality TV show.
Then when her new husband won the National Championship... you probably noticed it is quite an exciting time....
So, you did what any
You went out and met a basketball player and dated for what felt like an eternity (4 months)...
When it was time to announce your engagement, you were sporting a two million dollar ring! Wow, that makes Khloe's $850,000 ring look like it came out of a cracker jack box! Besides, we all know the bigger the diamond, the happier and more in love a couple is!
Then came planning the wedding....this wasn't going to be some silly backyard wedding in a multi-million dollar home like your sister. No, this was going to be a spectacular wedding. Besides, we all know the more money you spend on a wedding, the longer you will stay married.
People magazine offers you tons of cash for the rights to photograph your Dream wedding...and of course there is the mandatory 'E' television special. What a wonderful way to look back at your amazing day than by scrolling through your TiVO after a hard day's work (would "work" be the correct word to describe what you do?)
...and then you and Kris rode off into the sunset, to live happily ever after as husband and wife! Because...isn't that really what this ten million dollar wedding was all about?...LOVE?
Of course Kris is an athlete, and his career is quite important. Who doesn't want to be a glamorous wife of an NBA star, sitting front row on the court when the 2011-2012 season....
What is that? The 2011-2012 NBA season had partially been canceled? There hasn't been an NBA season this year? So that is great news....you and Kris have a small window where you can be together...almost like an extended honeymoon.
What is that? You have to "work"...and will be everywhere from New York to Dubai. What about Kris? He seems to be making the rounds to various nightclubs with your other sister's "boyfriend" (what does he do again?)
oh yeah...NOTHING!
Anyhow, back to the lockout. Funny thing about marrying an athlete. You meet them, and their career could be doing one thing...and by the time you are married they could be in a completely different stage of their career! Sometimes they are up...sometimes they are down!
We have our ups and downs, but we are pretty steady. Even though my ring is not big, and our total wedding cost as much as your cake...we have now been married for over eight years!
I've been nominated and need your help. If you would be so kind....
4 comments:
Oh Hockey Wife - with every blog, you have me laughing. Your references and aptly inserted pictures are so appropriate. It's a good thing your butt isn't as big as hers :-)
Amen. Girlfriend put more effort into the wedding than the marriage.
Holy schnikes, that rate is ridiculous! And wait, being married to an athlete doesn't guarantee you a reality show. I might just have to rethink this whole think ;) Ridiculous, all of it. Great post!
I don't understand why she's so famous anyway.
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