family            family            family            family

So you want to marry an athlete....

November 1, 2011

Dear Kim Kardashian,

So you wanted to marry an athlete.  I know that Khloe made it look like so much fun.  If she did it, how hard can it really be?

You meet a basketball player, date him for two days.

Announce your engagement by showing off your huge and expensive diamond.

Field all those amazing offers to be generously paid for photos of the big event.

Why not video tape it for an 'E' television special.

which will then turn into a hit spin-off to your current reality TV show.

Then when her new husband won the National Championship... you probably noticed it is quite an exciting time....
 So, you did what any jealous, money-hungry, fame-seeking, older sister would do...only you were determined to do it on a much grander scale!

You went out and met a basketball player and dated for what felt like an eternity (4 months)...
When it was time to announce your engagement, you were sporting a two million dollar ring!  Wow, that makes Khloe's $850,000 ring look like it came out of a cracker jack box! Besides, we all know the bigger the diamond, the happier and more in love a couple is!

Then came planning the wedding....this wasn't going to be some silly backyard wedding in a multi-million dollar home like your sister.  No, this was going to be a spectacular wedding.  Besides, we all know the more money you spend on a wedding, the longer you will stay married.

People magazine offers you tons of cash for the rights to photograph your Dream wedding...and of course there is the mandatory 'E' television special. What a wonderful way to look back at your amazing day than by scrolling through your TiVO after a hard day's work (would "work" be the correct word to describe what you do?)
...and then you and Kris rode off into the sunset, to live happily ever after as husband and wife!  Because...isn't that really what this ten million dollar wedding was all about?...LOVE?

Of course Kris is an athlete, and his career is quite important.  Who doesn't want to be a glamorous wife of an NBA star, sitting front row on the court when the 2011-2012 season....
What is that?  The 2011-2012 NBA season had partially been canceled?  There hasn't been an NBA season this year?  So that is great and Kris have a small window where you can be together...almost like an extended honeymoon.  

What is that?  You have to "work"...and will be everywhere from New York to Dubai.  What about Kris?  He seems to be making the rounds to various nightclubs with your other sister's "boyfriend" (what does he do again?)

oh yeah...NOTHING! 

Anyhow, back to the lockout.  Funny thing about marrying an athlete.  You meet them, and their career could be doing one thing...and by the time you are married they could be in a completely different stage of their career!  Sometimes they are up...sometimes they are down! 

As we found out this week, you have now filed for divorce from Kris, and have claimed "irreconcilable differences" as the cause.  It depends where the gossip news comes from, but according to Perez Hilton...Kris wanted to settle down in Minnesota, and you didn't want to leave your family or "work" in LA.  

Other sources (TMZ) say it is because Kris was not working and was too busy hiring a Hollywood agent.  You  thought you were marrying an athlete...not a fame-seeker! (Imagine meet, date, announce your wedding, plan your wedding, photograph your wedding, film your wedding and do a show about your "married" life...all on camera, and you are shocked the man you married is a fame-seeker?)

Did you know the divorce rate for a professional athlete is between 60% and 80%??  (I googled it and this is what I found most stats said...WOW!)

Kim....did you know this?  

I too married an athlete.  He was a player when I met him....he is now a coach.  We have lived in nine different cities in almost twelve years, eleven different houses in those twelve years!  What about a career you ask?  I once was a flight attendant....I had dreams of teaching elementary school.  I would like to teach in the same gym for more than 7 months at a time!  My career is now raising two children and moving twice a year to support my husband's career!  My family, you ask?  I saw them last was the first Christmas I spent with them in eleven years.  I took the kids and spent it apart from my husband so I could be with them.  I haven't seen my family since last Christmas, and I doubt I will see them until next summer.  My husband's family?  We see them at least once during the season (Christmas) and we are around them all summer.  You see, sometimes a relationship can be pretty lop-sided!

We have our ups and downs, but we are pretty steady.  Even though my ring is not big, and our total wedding cost as much as your cake...we have now been married for over eight years!  

I am not trying to compare my life to yours...since we are two completely different people.  I don't have your money, fame, or butt.....and my husband is not an NBA player.  But we both married a professional athlete, and with that comes a lot of important decisions.  Most of these decisions are made during the time you date....and four months is usually not long enough to answer those questions. "Where will we live?" (together) "What happens if you are traded?"  "What if one of us no longer works?" ...etc.  

I know....those questions seem like a good idea now that your marriage is over after only 72 days!  

Unfortunately, there are not many people who are feeling sorry for you!  We all saw this coming before the first piece of your 6' tall $15,000.00 cake was sliced! are the epitome of today's "celebrity".  You are famous for nothing....and spend money foolishly!  But worse of all, you chased an idea and in the end you discovered...

...It is not easy marrying a professional athlete! 

I've been nominated and need your help. If you would be so kind....


DP said...

Oh Hockey Wife - with every blog, you have me laughing. Your references and aptly inserted pictures are so appropriate. It's a good thing your butt isn't as big as hers :-)

Heather said...

Amen.  Girlfriend put more effort into the wedding than the marriage.

TexaGermaNadian said...

Holy schnikes, that rate is ridiculous! And wait, being married to an athlete doesn't guarantee you a reality show. I might just have to rethink this whole think ;) Ridiculous, all of it. Great post!

TeenainToronto said...

I don't understand why she's so famous anyway.