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How to Cha-Cha with a Hangover!

March 29, 2011

I got a crazy idea to get my ZUMBA certification...without ever having attended a Zumba class.  It didn't seem too crazy of an idea because... I have been teaching SPIN classes for over eleven years, I am a certified personal trainer, and I teach other group fitness classes...I am also training so I can begin teaching pole-fitness classes.

So of course I thought getting a ZUMBA certification would be a great idea!  However, I had not realized the ZUMBA Certification was the morning after my planned Girls' Night Out!!  But since I have attended many certifications...I figured I would be fine.

For those of you who have never done a fitness certification...I thought I would give you a peek inside of one.  I would like to apologize in advance, as my hangover might have made me a little more cranky than usual...and thankfully I am an anonymous blogger, because I might sound a little mean! 
Images courtesy of Google Image Search
Being the blogger I am...during the entire certification process, I kept finding myself saying "I need to blog about that!" or "Wait until I blog about this!"  So as you read this, I hope you can find the humor in this post!  

Saturday, 6:00 am:  My alarm goes off ....beep, beep , beep...BEEP, BEEP, BEEP!
Images courtesy of Google Image Search

I force myself to wake up and get out of bed....I am reminded of the martini-wine-beer combo I foolishly drank the night before.  I get dressed, brush my teeth, and put just enough make-up on to look alive!  I realize I have forgotten to pack my bag with the suggested items: (Remember what happened when I packed all of the suggested items when I had a baby?)
These are my two favorite items they tell you is a MUST HAVE for any certification!
  • Change of clothes:  There is always a "master" class before any certification...they always tell you to bring a change of clothes...but in reality, everyone just wears the same clothes all day long!  I skip it!
  • A healthy lunch, snacks, and lots of water:  I always giggle at the other participants who bring power bars, dried fruit, plain chicken breast, and a gallon jug of seem as though they eat this way everyday!  I pack a salami sandwich (with a lot of mayonnaise), a diet coke...and a lot of change for m&m's from the vending machine!
I arrive at the community centre...and stand in line to check-in.  This is where you begin to meet the people you will be training with for the day.  If you think it is a room full of toned, fit, health-concience fitness instructors....
Images courtesy of Google Image Search


Every fitness certification I have attended...has had a broad mix of participants.  Saturday's ZUMBA certification was no exception.  If you have ever thought about getting a certified to teach fitness classes, but are intimidated...DO NOT BE! 
Images courtesy of Google Image Search
Group Fitness is for everyone!

I bet you are dying for me to tell you about some of the people that I was with on Saturday.  If you say pretty please, I will tell you about a few of them! Even if you don't say please...I will tell you about a few of them! 

Meet Mom and Daughter (as I will call them).  They stood in line behind me, dressed from head to toe in ZUMBA clothes.  Head band, shirt, pants, shoes, (underwear?) and of course too many ZUMBA plastic bracelets to count.  If I had a dollar for every place they had the word ZUMBA on their body...I would be richer than the lucky Mega Millions players in Albany!
Images courtesy of Google Image Search
I will admit I have bought a t-shirt at a concert...but I cannot think of anything I love so much that I have devoted my entire wardrobe to it!  

Anyhow...Mom and Daughter annoyed me...but they annoyed me more when they returned from the 20 minute lunch break dressed from head to toe in TWO MORE ZUMBA OUTFITS. (Yes, they brought a change of clothes, as suggested)...only problem, we had not worked out enough to sweat...I think they were just showing off at this point!

Next was Miss Twinkle Toes...Obviously she had been a dancer at one point...and every salsa, cha-cha, merengue and cumbia step was over the top.  I thought she looked like she was auditioning for a broadway musical.  I am all for precision...but her consistent need to prove the point that she was a dancer made me want to yell at her! 
Hey, Twinkle Toes...see that 71 year old man who can barely move?  He is getting the same certificate as you and I....Tone it down a bit, because some of us have a hangover!
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Have you ever sat next to someone who has to make a comment about everything?  Meet, Mr. Obnoxious!  Not only did he have to make a comment after everything the presenter said...he felt it was me he needed to say it to.  Mr. Obnoxious also thought he was the best ZUMBA dancer...but he also had a little problem with his left and right.  
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If you remember me telling you...I too am horrible with my left and right!  But I am going to work really hard to overcome I now can see how annoying it must be for my husband when he tells me to turn right and I go left!  
I can go on and on!

  • The pretty girl who had no rhythm...
  • The girl with the most perfect behind I have ever seen...I tried not to stand next to her!
  • The woman in the ZUMBA bikini top...(until the presenter suggested instructors not dress that way)...she wore a sweater the rest of the day!
  • The hungover hockey wife...who drank diet coke instead of water!

One more thing...remember the saying "There is no such thing as a stupid question"...well I have news for you and the person who first said that....THERE ARE DEFINITELY STUPID QUESTIONS!
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The entire certification went from 8:00 am until 6:00 pm.  Thank God for the Diet coke and m&m's! I was really dragging by the time I got home.  

I have now been listening to mariachi band music all day...and I have consumed an entire bag of tortilla chips since Saturday.  Thank goodness we are out of Margarita mix....
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So you are probably asking yourself.....Did you like it?

Yes, I think I will definitely start teaching ZUMBA (once I learn the moves).  I received two certifications on Saturday.  ZUMBA basic, and ZUMBA Gold (for the de-conditioned participant).  I am going to focus on the ZUMBA Gold classes for now!

I have received a lot of comments from people telling me how much they enjoy their ZUMBA classes...and I want to hear from you once again...



Big Fat Gini said...

I'm betting Mother and Daughter had matching underwear, that said "Paid for by ZUMBA." Because, you totally have to sleep with someone in order to get that many bracelets. Or. Wait. Is that beads?

Personally, I think wearing a bikini top while teaching will make everyone in the class feel completely comfortable with you. They'll really feel as if they "get" you when your boob pops out.

Mommy 2.0 said...

I only survived one Zumba class in my life, but my mother, who is a sexagenarian in way better shape than me, swears by it. The one thing I really hated about the class I took was that they turned off the lights and turned a disco ball on. I had a two day migraine afterwards from the sensory overload.

dnikki19 said...

First, I was in a heinous mood before I read this. Thanks for the much needed LOL. Second, MAD PROPS for even rolling out of bed in time post a girls night to do THIS. Superwoman called and wants her drinking shoes back. Third, I totally had to each chips and salsa for lunch after reading this. I'm not entirely sure I should thank you for that, though... :)

Rachel B said...

LOL! I love this post! Your descriptions of the people made me laugh!

TexaGermaNadian said...

Too funny! I feel like in every situation I am in "Mr. Obnoxious" is by me as well. What is it with attracting them?! You will be a great instructor, I can tell. I have never had Zumba, but when we get back to the US I might have to try!
Congrats on your FTLOB blog o' the month nomination!! :)

Hockey Wife Tales said...

What? I didn't even know I was nominated...I better pick up my blogging game. I am finding this out from your excited!

I appreciate your vote of Zumba confidence....thinking I should also start taking classes before leading them!


Hockey Wife Tales said...

Thank you! I hope I don't come across as a mean girl....

Hockey Wife Tales said...

When you pay $$$ to get a is hard to sleep in. I did question if I should have put the money towards an ipad...but I guess I will have to teach a few extra classes to get the money back.

I am making tacos and guacamole for dinner tonight...and sipping a margarita...then off to pole class! Hope I don't get sick!


Hockey Wife Tales said...

Funny how the "older" ladies really love it. That is why I am focusing on the ZUMBA gold classes. (and they are slower to teach)....I will be sure to NEVER turn on a disco ball! Thank you for the advice!

Hockey Wife Tales said...

Hahaha...I went to Mardi Gras in 1997. I thankfully went BEFORE Girls Gone Wild, facebook, digital cameras, and cell phones with cameras!

I once had a boob pop out during a kickbox class...but I had on a tank top-like shirt....I was taking the class not teaching...THANK GOD!!


LesleyRH said...

I had the same mix of weirdos in my certification class too lol. The key to being a good instructor IMO and I've found for my classes is to keep it fresh. Change songs and choreo at least once a month so participants don't get bored! Welcome to Zumba world fellow new instructor lol!

Blonde_Morgan said...

Agreeing with ditching the disco ball, such a major distraction and a flashback to boogying that bootay down.I have seriously considered taking up certification on Zumba and Kettleball classes but stepped into a class to test it and 86'd that bad boy. There are a couple of ex-NFL cheerleaders that instruct as well as pro-ball wives...that don't sweat like a man. Have fun with the certs and congrats on the nom!

Hockey Wife Tales said...

Thank you...I owe it all to your post on Zumba is what gave me the kick I needed to finally do it. Mind if I ask a few questions here and there? Do you use their choreo, or do you make your own?


Hockey Wife Tales said...

I don't think I would want to teach in the same gym as ex-cheerleaders! I am always intrigued by the kettleballs...what a great workout!


Melody said...

congrats on your nomination for blog of the month of ftlob!!!!

Hockey Wife said...

Woo hoo! I don't remember the last time I had a hang over ... probably two years ago? Maybe three? Yikes. Anywhoo ... congrats on your nomination for blog of the month at FTLOB and congrats on your certification! You are one kick-ass hockey wife!

LesleyRH said...

It depends. I usually piece together my own choreo with a mixture of the choreo they send to you on DVD each month. Sometimes the music and DVD choreo they send isn't very good. Sometimes you may have a kick ass song but the choreo they put to it sucks so then I would just make up my own if I liked the song enough.

In time, you'll find yourself creating Zumba choreo to music you hear on the radio. The best creating time for me is when I'm driving lol.

No problem! Questions any time!! Best wishes!

Diane said...

I love Zumba...lots of smiles, hardly any teaching, just do the steps and let people follow. Our instuctor changes 2 or 3 songs every week or so...some familiar, some new. Just some ideas for you from a new follower from ftlob. come visit at:

Narragansett No. 7 said...

I have nothing to say about Zumba because I'm that uncoordinated DORK in the back who trips over her feet and clearly lacks anything resembling gross motor skills. This is why I am a runner. I think this is my favorite post of yours EVER. Why? Because Mom and daughter would have annoyed the shit out of me too. You picked everyone who I would have focused on and it was funny! Thanks for the laugh. Oh, and that guy in brother. Just Kidding!

tvs take said...

Ha! Great post! I take pilates and the Zumba class is right after mine. All I can say is die hards and crazy outfits but hey if it works great!