Blame the Hockey!

Well wouldn't you know, I have been nominated for the Blog of the Month at FTLOB!  To say I am excited is an understatement.

Now...I am sure there is a science to being nominated, and getting the votes.  Just like in advertising, you have to connect with your audience.  Make them want to return again and again.  You have to get the word out there...letting people know you are nominated. Your blog should stand out when compared to the other blogs...It should say  LOOK AT ME!!!!

LOOK AT ME!!!

However...this nomination has come at the near-end to the 2010-2011 hockey season.  After all, this blog's title is Tales of a Hockey Wife.  So my time and energy is being spent packing up a home...getting  things ready to go to our cottage for four months, helping my daughter prepare to change schools, finishing up the fitness classes I have been teaching...and plan for TWO birthday parties next week!

So....I will not be able to get new posts up in a timely fashion...and therefore I cannot "rally" the votes.


So as much as I would love for you to head over to FTLOB and nominate Tales of a Hockey Wife....

I ask that you understand...the month of April will be a busy one...where my posting will probably be sporadic...and most posts will consist of me complaining that I should have married a dentist (as my daughter pointed out here)....

I am already in awe that I have over 200 people following me, which makes me feel like someone out there finds humor in my life, and can laugh along with me!  But the best part is the fact that I have more blog followers than my sister...which makes me a winner in a little game we like to play called "who is better"!

How to Cha-Cha with a Hangover!

I got a crazy idea to get my ZUMBA certification...without ever having attended a Zumba class.  It didn't seem too crazy of an idea because... I have been teaching SPIN classes for over eleven years, I am a certified personal trainer, and I teach other group fitness classes...I am also training so I can begin teaching pole-fitness classes.

So of course I thought getting a ZUMBA certification would be a great idea!  However, I had not realized the ZUMBA Certification was the morning after my planned Girls' Night Out!!  But since I have attended many certifications...I figured I would be fine.

For those of you who have never done a fitness certification...I thought I would give you a peek inside of one.  I would like to apologize in advance, as my hangover might have made me a little more cranky than usual...and thankfully I am an anonymous blogger, because I might sound a little mean! 

Images courtesy of Google Image Search

Being the blogger I am...during the entire certification process, I kept finding myself saying "I need to blog about that!" or "Wait until I blog about this!"  So as you read this, I hope you can find the humor in this post!  

Saturday, 6:00 am:  My alarm goes off ....beep, beep , beep...BEEP, BEEP, BEEP!

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I force myself to wake up and get out of bed....I am reminded of the martini-wine-beer combo I foolishly drank the night before.  I get dressed, brush my teeth, and put just enough make-up on to look alive!  I realize I have forgotten to pack my bag with the suggested items: (Remember what happened when I packed all of the suggested items when I had a baby?)

These are my two favorite items they tell you is a MUST HAVE for any certification!

• Change of clothes:  There is always a "master" class before any certification...they always tell you to bring a change of clothes...but in reality, everyone just wears the same clothes all day long!  I skip it!
• A healthy lunch, snacks, and lots of water:  I always giggle at the other participants who bring power bars, dried fruit, plain chicken breast, and a gallon jug of water...to seem as though they eat this way everyday!  I pack a salami sandwich (with a lot of mayonnaise), a diet coke...and a lot of change for m&m's from the vending machine!

I arrive at the community centre...and stand in line to check-in.  This is where you begin to meet the people you will be training with for the day.  If you think it is a room full of toned, fit, health-concience fitness instructors....

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YOU ARE WRONG!  

Every fitness certification I have attended...has had a broad mix of participants.  Saturday's ZUMBA certification was no exception.  If you have ever thought about getting a certified to teach fitness classes, but are intimidated...DO NOT BE! 

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Group Fitness is for everyone!

I bet you are dying for me to tell you about some of the people that I was with on Saturday.  If you say pretty please, I will tell you about a few of them! Even if you don't say please...I will tell you about a few of them! 

Meet Mom and Daughter (as I will call them).  They stood in line behind me, dressed from head to toe in ZUMBA clothes.  Head band, shirt, pants, shoes, (underwear?) and of course too many ZUMBA plastic bracelets to count.  If I had a dollar for every place they had the word ZUMBA on their body...I would be richer than the lucky Mega Millions players in Albany!

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I will admit I have bought a t-shirt at a concert...but I cannot think of anything I love so much that I have devoted my entire wardrobe to it!  

Anyhow...Mom and Daughter annoyed me...but they annoyed me more when they returned from the 20 minute lunch break dressed from head to toe in TWO MORE ZUMBA OUTFITS. (Yes, they brought a change of clothes, as suggested)...only problem, we had not worked out enough to sweat...I think they were just showing off at this point!

Next was Miss Twinkle Toes...Obviously she had been a dancer at one point...and every salsa, cha-cha, merengue and cumbia step was over the top.  I thought she looked like she was auditioning for a broadway musical.  I am all for precision...but her consistent need to prove the point that she was a dancer made me want to yell at her! 

Hey, Twinkle Toes...see that 71 year old man who can barely move?  He is getting the same certificate as you and I....Tone it down a bit, because some of us have a hangover!

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Have you ever sat next to someone who has to make a comment about everything?  Meet, Mr. Obnoxious!  Not only did he have to make a comment after everything the presenter said...he felt it was me he needed to say it to.  Mr. Obnoxious also thought he was the best ZUMBA dancer...but he also had a little problem with his left and right.  

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If you remember me telling you...I too am horrible with my left and right!  But I am going to work really hard to overcome it...as I now can see how annoying it must be for my husband when he tells me to turn right and I go left!  

I can go on and on!

• The pretty girl who had no rhythm...
• The girl with the most perfect behind I have ever seen...I tried not to stand next to her!
• The woman in the ZUMBA bikini top...(until the presenter suggested instructors not dress that way)...she wore a sweater the rest of the day!
• The hungover hockey wife...who drank diet coke instead of water!

One more thing...remember the saying "There is no such thing as a stupid question"...well I have news for you and the person who first said that....THERE ARE DEFINITELY STUPID QUESTIONS!

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The entire certification went from 8:00 am until 6:00 pm.  Thank God for the Diet coke and m&m's!...as I was really dragging by the time I got home.  

I have now been listening to mariachi band music all day...and I have consumed an entire bag of tortilla chips since Saturday.  Thank goodness we are out of Margarita mix....

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So you are probably asking yourself.....Did you like it?

Yes, I think I will definitely start teaching ZUMBA (once I learn the moves).  I received two certifications on Saturday.  ZUMBA basic, and ZUMBA Gold (for the de-conditioned participant).  I am going to focus on the ZUMBA Gold classes for now!

I have received a lot of comments from people telling me how much they enjoy their ZUMBA classes...and I want to hear from you once again...

WHAT CAN I DO AS AN INSTRUCTOR TO MAKE MY CLASS GREAT?  

WHAT SHOULD I NOT DO...SO I DON'T ANNOY THEM?

My Crazy Weekend!

On Friday I did this...

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Then I planned on doing this...

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but I ran out of time...so I did this...

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I met up with the girls...and I drank one of these...

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I also drank some of this...

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It was DIVA NIGHT at my pole studio...and so I watched some amazing routines like this...

**THIS IS NOT A VIDEO FROM THE OTHER NIGHT

This is my favorite video, and I thought I would share it with you...it also will give you an idea of the FABULOUS girls' night I had!

Afterwards, I met up with my husband and had one of these...

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The next morning was Saturday, and I felt like this...

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If you read my Saturday post, you would know I had to get up at 6:00 am to get my certification to teach this...

TO BE CONTINUED....

For my next blog post, I will give a little gossip about my ZUMBA certification process!

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It's not you...it's me!

I have been a little distant....it is not you, it's me.

There has been so much going on, and I have not had a moment to finish a thought, let alone a blog post.

So today, I am off to do this...

Do you want a confession?  I have never taken a Zumba class before....but I am about to get my certification to teach it!  Go figure!

So I am off to Salsa and Cha Cha my hangover headache away!

So hang in there....and I will be sure to update you on my crazy week!  

Tales from a YMCA locker room...

Everything I need to know about aging, I can learn in the YMCA locker room!!!

1. I have learned...Our butts will begin to fall.  There is no doubt that at some point ALL butts will sag by the age of 75. No matter what body type you may have now...your butt will not stay firm forever.

2. I have learned...At some point, we will all give in and wear full-coverage underpants to cover our sagging behinds. No matter how small your underpants are today...there will come a day when you opt for comfort over design! (remember this post?)

3. I have learned about...BREASTS!  I have seen every shape and size. Even after two kids, I can appreciate my 35 year old breasts, as I know there will come a time when I will look back fondly on their (somewhat) perky shape and the pretty, lace bras I carried them in. 

4. I have learned...to rejoice!!! At some point in our lives, we will no longer have the stamina (but will still have the need) to trim our "down-there" hair. Maybe as we age and the hair-down-there turns grey...it is not as visible as it was when we were younger? Maybe the swimsuits we choose in our older age are not as "high-cut" exposing those pesky stray hairs? Or just maybe...as you become older...you just don't give a crap about what is hanging out and who actually sees it!!!

(this video is safe for work!)

SUMMARY:

I have learned that all these things put together (sagging butt, drooping boobs, and peek-a-boo hair) will not stop you from walking around completely naked while chatting about your cute grandchildren with your locker room neighbor!

Hockey Saved My Wedding!

You read it right...hockey saved my wedding!

Images from www.good-times.webshots.com

To be more detailed...the NHL draft of 2003 saved my wedding!

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In 2002, after almost five years of dating, moving, and living as a hockey wife "in-training"...I was presented with a ring and a proposal in a basement bar located in the North End of Boston!  I didn't just get a ring...I also got the job of planning our wedding.  

If you were to ask any wife of a hockey player when their wedding anniversary was,  I can almost guarantee their answer would be between the months of June and August.  You may find an exception for a couple who loves spontaneity...but a majority of weddings must be planned around the hockey season.  

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A typical hockey season goes from September (training camp) through June (finals)!  If you plan your wedding for the end of the regular season...after mid-April...you might be guaranteeing the need for a postponement of a wedding due to play-offs.  Do you have a dream of a Fall wedding?  Why not get married in September, and then take your honeymoon to your new husband's TRAINING CAMP!

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So when presented with choosing a wedding date, it was narrowed down to the end of June, July, or early August.  I chose June 21, 2003.  This date was perfect! 

✔ Saturday

✔Warm weather month

    No Hockey...(wait, there is not a check on that)....

When I told my family the date of June 21, 2003...they all said that was perfect or them.  When I mentioned the date to my husband's family, I was not greeted with such enthusiasm.  

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You see, I didn't just marry a man who made his living in hockey...I married a man whose entire family makes their living in hockey.  If you google the NHL Entry Draft of 2003...you will see it occurred on Saturday, June 21.  Not only would my fiance be there...four other family members would be there as well. 

Not only did hockey dictate where I lived, and when I moved there...it also was now dictating which day I was to be married on!

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So it was back to the calendar...and a new date was selected...June 28, 2003.  

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The 2002-2003 Hockey Season was quite busy.  My husband was a head coach and I was flying full time as a flight attendant.  I planned my wedding while commuting from Boston to his hockey town...and traveling from coast to coast for work.   But finally the week of the draft was here.  I kissed my fiance good-bye and appreciated the fact I could just concentrate on our upcoming special day without interruption!  

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The morning of June 21st came...and I woke up with a bad taste for hockey in my mouth!  To say I was still pouting that I had to switch dates of my wedding was an understatement...until I opened the blinds!

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It was not just raining...it was pouring.  You know how the optimists all say rain on your wedding day is good luck?  Well, even the optimists would have told me my glass was half empty...with rain water!  Had we married on the 21st of June...we would have had to cancel our reception, which was going to be held on a boat.  Had we married on the 21st of June...our wedding would have been absolutely miserable!

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June 22...the rain cleared and the humidity came in!  Boy did the humidity kick in!  The entire week leading up to our wedding was hot and sticky!  

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June 27th...and our (outdoor) rehearsal dinner was upon us...the humidity broke...and we were gifted with a beautiful weekend.  The next day we were married on a beautiful sunny day.  It was not too hot...it was just PERFECT!  I owe it all to Hockey.  Because of hockey...I  had the perfect wedding day!

THIS IS US!!