Is Fraud a Felony?

Fortunately, I am not blogging today from federal prison.  I must be honest with you,  I committed FRAUD the other day. I am not proud of it...but in a way, it was kind of funny!

Let me begin by giving you a little background.

• I have been with my husband for over fourteen years.  
• I have lived with him in his our summer cottage for thirteen summers.  
• Before we dated...we both dated other people.
• I am not a jealous person
• There was a previous girlfriend of my husband that once lived in his our cottage twenty years ago.
• We still have items that belonged to this previous girlfriend...and it doesn't bother me at all.
• We will call this girlfriend "PAST GIRLFRIEND" for the remainder of my story.

Last week, I was making our bed...when the phone rang.  I answered the phone and received an automated message....

"This message is for PAST GIRLFRIEND.  If this is PAST GIRLFRIEND please press '1' now."

(What?  She hasn't lived here in over twenty years?  What could this be about?  Hmmmm...)

So I pressed '1'.....and a woman comes on the phone.  

"I am looking for PAST GIRLFRIEND"

(What do I say?  What is this about? What should I do?)

So, I did what any wife who answers the phone and is asked by a robot if they were their husband's ex-girlfriend.....

"Speaking....."

"Past Girlfriend, this is Francis with Blah Blah Visa, and we are calling about a past due payment of $622.34."

(OH SHIT...This is not good!)

You know that moment of panic when you realize that something you have done so innocently has started to turn into something much bigger than you originally expected?

1. My first thought was to hang up, but I didn't want to get PAST GIRLFRIEND into trouble by making it look like she was avoiding paying her Visa.
2. My second thought was to say I would pay it, and thank them for calling...then contact PAST GIRLFRIEND via facebook (if I could find her) and tell her to pay her bill.

But my conscience won, and I fessed up....

"I have to be honest with you" I told Francis.  "I am not PAST GIRLFRIEND.  PAST GIRLFRIEND is my husband's ex-girlfriend who lived here over twenty years ago......I am so sorry!"

"Oh, this is not good....now you know what this is about." Snapped Francis. 

"I am sorry, I was just curious to know who was calling for PAST GIRLFRIEND!  I am not jealous or anything, I was just..."


"Well, if this ever happens again, I suggest you not play these games.  You have just committed fraud!"


So there you have it.  Curiosity killed the cat and made me commit fraud.  Everyone I have told this story to has found the humor in it...except Francis!  I suggest she lighten up a little.

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