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How NOT to make babies....

April 6, 2011

Last night as I was putting my daughter to bed, we were talking about her birthday...which is two days away.  My daughter loves to hear stories from yesteryear...so I told her about the two days leading up to her birth.
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The night of April 5th, I had falsely assumed I was having contractions...which at the time I was a first time birther (not like that...I believe President Obama is a United States citizen!)...I had never given birth before.  I assumed the slightly uncomfortable, cramp-like feelings were actual contractions!  All night I timed them...they were 9 minutes apart...and then they stopped so I went to bed.
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The next morning I awoke and called the doctor.  She told me to go for a long walk and then come in around 4:00 pm to be checked.  I assume she didn't really believe I was in labor, as I now had seven hours to kill until she would see me.
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I took a very long walk, and then went home and made myself productive.....
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When I got to the hospital, I was "checked" by a crabby nurse...She told me that there was no chance of a baby in the next 24 hours and I should go home and rest.  My husband and I decided to go eat some spicy mexican food and a drink a few Coronas.
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I will spare you the details of the next 24hours, but let's just say the nurse was wrong.....and I was completely wrong about what contractions feel like...
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My daughter was born on April 7th at 9:55 am.....and she was worth all of the pain and weight gain.

Tonight, as I was telling my daughter about her entrance into our family, I didn't spare too many details !  As she listened, she got quiet. Then the questions started coming.

(I would like to point out, my daughter has never asked how babies are made...nor been told)

Mom, do girls have to have babies?

No, you don't have to have a baby if you don't want to.

Is there a way for a girl to not have a baby?

(I am a firm believer that you answer questions from children with honest and to-the-point answers)

Yes, there are ways.

How?

Well...there is some medicine a girl can take...and there are things that can be used (oh shit, oh shit, oh shit!)...

Is the medicine a shot?

It can be, but it is usually a pill.

Good...I think I need to start taking the pill because I don't want a baby!

(oh shit, oh shit, oh shit)  Goodnight dear!
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20 comments:

TexaGermaNadian said...

Haha, well, at least she knows what she wants! Too funny. I remember when I was really young that I knew that every girl was born with a seed in her belly and it grew into a baby when you got to a certain age. Nothing you could do about it. I remember my mom just being like "Um no, but that's ok, you can think that" haha.

Rancher Mom said...

This makes me glad that I have sons, that way, if any such questions are asked I can simply reply, "Ask your father."

tenetiadisalvo said...

oh, this is hilarious! i am not looking forword to these discussions with my little ones, lol! you did well!

tenetiadisalvo said...

oh man, this was too funny! i am not looking forword to having this discussion with my two little ones! you did well!!

TriGirl said...

Oh my. Great story! I assume your daughter is still quite young...i wonder if she thinks that having babies is contagious :)

April said...

You crack me up. Gracie, 3, has asked a couple of times how girls have babies and how did the baby get there. I just said that God put it there and distracted her. LOL

Cakeologist said...

Too funny! That reminds me of a little experience of my own...with my second child. I see a possible copycat post in my future:)

Hockey Wife Tales said...

I know the story well, and I look forward to the post. Copy away!

Hockey Wife Tales said...

My daughter is turning seven. I am pretty sure she doesn't know how a baby gets in the woman, but I assume she must have quite an innocent idea, as she was pretty adamant that she didn't want one anytime soon!

Hockey Wife Tales said...

I always am quite honest and to the point, and that usually works. Of course I never go into more detail than she needs to know. Then again, we have a brass pole in our living room, and that seems perfectly normal to her!

Hockey Wife Tales said...

I guess I should be happy she wants to know how NOT to make them...vs. how to make them!

Hockey Wife Tales said...

Have a son and worry about ONE penis....have a girl and worry about ALL THE OTHERS!

Hockey Wife Tales said...

I have a feeling my daughter thinks it just happens, like a sneeze or a trip to the bathroom. I pray she will not discuss THE PILL in school!

Big Fat Gini said...

This is probably why God didn't give me girls.

The other day, my oldest asked me what "male enhancement drugs" are. So I was honest. Which was about as fun as stabbing myself repeatedly in the eyeball with a toothpick.

Mrs. Hyde said...

How NOT to have a baby...I love it! My 17-year-old says that she doesn't want any children. I told her to remember that when she thinks she's in love, cuz men have a way of talking you into doing stuff you don't want to do.

Amber DiTullio said...

Out of the mouthes of babes... I remember telling my mom when she was trying to explain about babies when I was about your daughters age that I didn't want any of my eggs to die and I was going to make sure they were all babies!

Completely off topic, I just awarded you the Versatile Blogger Award. I'm not sure if you've received one before, or if you're even familiar with it. But you can check out what I wrote about your blog and see the award over on my blog post: Someone Really Likes Me! (I hate spamming, and this kind of feels like it, but I really wanted you to know how much I enjoy your blog!)

Mrs K said...

haha..kids questions can be so cute:))

tenetiadisalvo said...

I just awarded you with The Versatile Blogger Award!!! Congratulations! You can read about it and choose to accept it in my post here;

http://whimsyandwhirlbytenetia.blogspot.com/2011/04/i-win-nanny-nanny-boo-boo.html

~Tenetia

LesRH80 said...

Hmm...well, at least you know she'll be protected somewhat? haha. You make me worry about labor...not that I'm pregnant, but when I am that really really terrifies me lol

I Am Not Superwoman said...

LOL