I am so tired....of leaving my friends!
I am so tired....of seeing my family once a year!
I am so tired....of cleaning this house!
I am so tired....of trying to find a place for everything!
I am so tired....of pretending I don't mind moving!
I am so tired....of always being the one to solve the problem of being out of napkins!
I am so tired....of feeling guilty for leaving the house without the kids to grocery shop, yet my husband golfs for five hours at a time!
I am so tired....of not having a girlfriend to talk over a hot cup of coffee!
I am so tired....of not having friends to drink (too much) wine with!
I am so tired....of spending money for stupid things required for each move!
I am tired of....feeling like a glorified housekeeper and babysitter, instead of a wife and mother!
I am tired of....never knowing where we will live from year to year!
I am tired of....feeling like a nag, because my husband procrastinates!
I am tired of....feeling tired of everything!
I took the month of April away from blogging....I just needed a break while we moved back to our cottage for the summer. This is the first year we are presented with having a child that is in school...and we had to get her registered in her new school. What a brave girl she is...and jumped right in, making friends and having a great time. I on the other hand, have been slowly unraveling!
I always put on a brave face....telling everyone how lucky we are to have such a great life in hockey! I want my kids to do well with the moves, I want my husband to feel good about the life we live....but there are times I just cannot smile any more! Today was a breaking point.....
My husband was out golfing with his buddies....I was home cleaning cobwebs, dusting baseboards, scrubbing toilets...and listening to my kids fight. When one of my kids made the trash can knock over in the kitchen I lost it. I sent both kids to their room...just as my husband came home! I told him I was tired of being the only one to clean, and they could clean their own rooms. My husband tried to get the kids to stop crying....and I went downstairs and cried over the pot of macaroni and cheese I was making for the kid's lunch.
When my husband came downstairs....I lost it. SEE ABOVE RANT!
Tomorrow will be better....and I will once again get into the groove of things! But today is my day to let my emotions come to the surface and spill out! Today is my day to say I want off of this merry-go-round!
So yes....today there IS crying in hockey!
cheers!
