I am so tired....of leaving my friends!
I am so tired....of seeing my family once a year!
I am so tired....of cleaning this house!
I am so tired....of trying to find a place for everything!
I am so tired....of pretending I don't mind moving!
I am so tired....of always being the one to solve the problem of being out of napkins!
I am so tired....of feeling guilty for leaving the house without the kids to grocery shop, yet my husband golfs for five hours at a time!
I am so tired....of not having a girlfriend to talk over a hot cup of coffee!
I am so tired....of not having friends to drink (too much) wine with!
I am so tired....of spending money for stupid things required for each move!
I am tired of....feeling like a glorified housekeeper and babysitter, instead of a wife and mother!
I am tired of....never knowing where we will live from year to year!
I am tired of....feeling like a nag, because my husband procrastinates!
I am tired of....feeling tired of everything!
I took the month of April away from blogging....I just needed a break while we moved back to our cottage for the summer. This is the first year we are presented with having a child that is in school...and we had to get her registered in her new school. What a brave girl she is...and jumped right in, making friends and having a great time. I on the other hand, have been slowly unraveling!
I always put on a brave face....telling everyone how lucky we are to have such a great life in hockey! I want my kids to do well with the moves, I want my husband to feel good about the life we live....but there are times I just cannot smile any more! Today was a breaking point.....
My husband was out golfing with his buddies....I was home cleaning cobwebs, dusting baseboards, scrubbing toilets...and listening to my kids fight. When one of my kids made the trash can knock over in the kitchen I lost it. I sent both kids to their room...just as my husband came home! I told him I was tired of being the only one to clean, and they could clean their own rooms. My husband tried to get the kids to stop crying....and I went downstairs and cried over the pot of macaroni and cheese I was making for the kid's lunch.
When my husband came downstairs....I lost it. SEE ABOVE RANT!
Tomorrow will be better....and I will once again get into the groove of things! But today is my day to let my emotions come to the surface and spill out! Today is my day to say I want off of this merry-go-round!
So yes....today there IS crying in hockey!
cheers!
19 comments:
We've all been there...everyday for me, actually. And I'd so bring over a bottle of Pinot Grigio or a pound of Starbucks' Komodo for you.
But kiddo, I had to laugh about the napkins. Please tell me you will too someday. Glad to have you back.
Sorry you're so unhappy (even if it's just today). I also see my family just once a year and that's tough. I hope you're able to get some of the changes made that will make things a little better. That's stressful life you lead...exotic and exciting typically has its downside :S
Oh! I'm sorry hun! Those kind of days suck...wish we were close enough in proximity to help. Doing it all alone sucks...and really wears on ya! Hope you take some time for yourself!
OMG....I am having one of those weeks here myself!!! I actually yelled at my husband and told him to get his procrastinating head out of behind (NOT IN THOSE EXACT WORDS LOL) or I was going to pack my bags!!! I do not live the "hockey" life but I stay at home with my kids and my husband works A TON, sometimes it makes me a little nutty and I end up crying while doing laundry or dishes!! Don't let it get you down we all have these moments (whether we admit it or not) and its good to cry and just plain b*t*h about it, at least in my case it does!! After my rants I try to remind myself.....I have a beautiful family and we are all healthy and all of our daily needs are taken care of:)
Thank you for the kind words, I always say I am allowed one cry and a FU fight for each move!
Thank you....I actually always feel better after a good cry. Nothing a few cocktails and breaking my diet won't fix!
Funny, when I was younger...I never thought about being away from my family. As I get older...it gets so much harder!
Really would love to have a glass of Pinot with you...would mean I was in UK....and then Prince Harry would spot me in the crowd and ....Coo coo cachoo Mrs. Robinson!!!! For now, I will settle on the kind words from my bloggy friends!
Oh yes there is a Lots of crying in Hockey! Im just trying to ignore the fact that next season is getting closer & closer..
I cannot even imagine what you go through season in/season out but a good cry is always something you can turn to, in letting things go and out. Sounds like a pure day of luxury is in order for you, one that includes trashy TV, sweatpants, wine and your bed. I'm sorry you're going through this, and as distant as this sounds, you’ve got support here that though are not sitting having coffee with you, or a glass of wine after the cobwebs have been cleaned. I’m sitting here this morning with a cup in hand feeling your pain and hoping you have this day to do what you have to do, cry, scream, laugh as best as you can. Let it out sister. ..and if I could I would have offered a ladies day or night to get away or something but seeing as it is, I’m having coffee with you this morning anyways (via blog)! Tomorrow is a new day.
I have missed you and I have been thinking about you. I figured that you guys were moving. No matter what lot in life you have been dealt, I think all women have those same thoughts (minus the moving part which makes it even HARDER on you). I constantly feel like a maid and a babysitter. I sometimes announce that I am not going to cook or clean anymore since I am the only one who seems to care and MOST of the mess is not mine! But, alas, I always do . . .
Glad you are back.
april
In case it means anything, I'm truly missing my weekly coffee buddy and it's left a big, empty void in my life. I'm sad that you're feeling sad and underappreciated. I think all wives and moms go through those days (and weeks). It's a good thing we've got our girlfriends to rely on because the men in our lives just don't seem to get it. Still trying to figure out the summer calendar when we'll be able to look back at this blog and smile. Luv you. Miss you.
I hope you have a better day! I can't imagine how frustrating all that is! Hugs!
I am sorry to hear about the week you are having! The picture at the top is very adorable though I must say and I am very glad to have stumbled across your blog!
Oh you poor thing! I don't know why but I just had a feeling you were overwhelmed lately. I'm so sorry. I've hit that breaking point a few times over the past few years - mostly with Europe stuff. It's not easy to be everything to everyone, all the time. I feel so badly, sometimes, when I complain about this life. It's great in so many ways - but there really are some pretty crappy things that come with it too. I struggle with that because we CHOOSE to do this to ourselves - but the other choice is putting my child in daycare, not having any more for a while, and maybe seeing my husband for two hours every day.
I hope that things settle for you soon ... and know that you can always call or email me too!
No kidding! There really is crying in hockey. Hey, I am glad you got it all out, because it sucks keeping it all in (even if we all think that is the 'big girl' thing to do). I am so glad you girl is doing great in school and I can only hope that tomorrow is a much much better day for you! :)
Good to know I'm not the only parent that lost it on my kids today!! I feel bad that today went the way it did. We had a travel day today from our cottage to home after Easter break, so everyone is a bit tired. We spent the week san bagging to save our cottage!! See my next post. With my wife having her new job it puts more pressure on me with the kids being disabled. I'm trying to adjust but it's not easy! Well I can rest in the fact that your feeling the same way. Have a glass of wine for me!!!
Hope today is looking better! That is quite a lot you have on your plate and I hope you get to take a break from it all sometime soon :)
I hate days/weeks/months like this and while my husband is not a pro hockey player I get it. Hope your drinking lots of wine and blogging among friends.
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