It is OK to be subtle...

**WARNING...if you are uncomfortable with any discussion of tampons, douches, or feminine wash, I suggest you do not read this!

Do you ever see a commercial and just roll your eyes in pure amazement?  In the world of advertising, you know somewhere there was a person who went into a meeting room and presented an idea.  In order for this idea to make onto your television...means somebody had to like it.

Let's talk about commercials aimed at the female audience....they usually are subtle enough to not freak out a man who might be watching the television during the commercial.  Items such as...

• Tampax
• Monistat
• Feminine Wash
• BASICALLY ANYTHING HAVING TO DO WITH "DOWN THERE" CARE!

When I think of subtle commercials that targets the needs of women, I immediately think of one of my favorite commercials.  Go ahead, watch this and try to guess what they are selling....



Ok...let's talk about this commercial.  The opening sequence is a woman with a cat in her lap....another term for a cat is a PU**Y!!  Next the term "mow the lawn"...is a subtle way to put it!  Maybe the girls standing behind the many different shapes of their "topiary" isn't subtle enough.  The woman with the TULIPS (two lips) between her legs catches your attention....but in a subtle way!  Ahhh...those folks in the UK are so clever...and their commercials always are a bit naughty.  But wait....there is a sister-commercial here in the US.....



See....I bet you saw this commercial and never even realized the subtle transformation of the "bushes" as the ladies walked past them!

How about a subtle commercial for tampons....


Yes....she is with her "beaver"!!

A long time ago, all of this was taboo.  However in the 1980's....commercials for feminine hygiene products started airing on television.  But of course they too were subtle.....



Who doesn't talk to their mom about douching...while sailing on a boat?

Sometimes, it is best to use humor when talking about something that makes people uncomfortable.  In this commercial....the point is that the tampon is ultra-absorbant!

A few years ago, a new advertisement campaign was launched.  The ads made fun of the usual way female products are advertised on commercials!

I can go on and on....but today I found the best of the worst!  Summer's Eve has a new ad campaign and it is getting a lot of buzz.  I came across these ads in an article, asking people are if they are considered racist.  I am not sure if they are racist...but I do know they are cringe-inducing!  There is nothing subtle about these commercials.  I will let you take a look and you can make your own decision.  All I know is that I question WHO even thought this was a smart marketing ploy!










Did she say "VAGINA LAND" and "VERTICAL SMILE"?  Are those hands supposed to be a subtle way to look like a vagina?

Now if this commercial will make both the men and women cringe!  I am now wondering what I say when my son starts saying "Hail to the V" at school while squeezing his thumb up and down like on the commercial!

Peas and Carrots!

Mama needed a break, and this weekend I had the opportunity to get away...

I took a trip to Indianapolis and visited my best friend of twenty-five years!  I was nine years old and in fourth grade when I met her, and to this day she is my true life-partner.  There is no one who knows me better, and there is nothing I cannot tell her....she is my rock!  

Although we have not lived in the same state for the last nineteen years, we always have made a point to see each other at least once a year....and sometimes we are lucky to see each other more than that.  We have traveled together, we have cried together, and we have laughed together!  She was the only one I had stand up with me on my wedding day, and she was the first to know I was pregnant with my daughter (even before my husband!).  In fact, the night my husband proposed...I accepted and immediately asked if I could call my best friend to share the news.  

We once raised a duck together when we were in sixth grade, we both got our first periods within days of each other, we have driven cross-country together, and we went to Mardi Gras in 1997 and ruined any chance of a political future for both ourselves and our family! 

However, we also can sit for hours just playing RumiKub, California Speed, or Chinese Checkers.  We love to go to the casino and play the slot machines (we never win!)...but the best part is that we can just sit side by side watching TV while both surfing the internet on our laptops.  Not a word spoken between us...just silent comfort.  

Do you have a friend like this?

To my dearest Fay....you are Jennifer to my Courtney...Bert to my Ernie...Oprah to my Gayle...Shirley to my Laverne!  I love you!

Is Fraud a Felony?

Fortunately, I am not blogging today from federal prison.  I must be honest with you,  I committed FRAUD the other day. I am not proud of it...but in a way, it was kind of funny!

Let me begin by giving you a little background.

• I have been with my husband for over fourteen years.  
• I have lived with him in his our summer cottage for thirteen summers.  
• Before we dated...we both dated other people.
• I am not a jealous person
• There was a previous girlfriend of my husband that once lived in his our cottage twenty years ago.
• We still have items that belonged to this previous girlfriend...and it doesn't bother me at all.
• We will call this girlfriend "PAST GIRLFRIEND" for the remainder of my story.

Last week, I was making our bed...when the phone rang.  I answered the phone and received an automated message....

"This message is for PAST GIRLFRIEND.  If this is PAST GIRLFRIEND please press '1' now."

(What?  She hasn't lived here in over twenty years?  What could this be about?  Hmmmm...)

So I pressed '1'.....and a woman comes on the phone.  

"I am looking for PAST GIRLFRIEND"

(What do I say?  What is this about? What should I do?)

So, I did what any wife who answers the phone and is asked by a robot if they were their husband's ex-girlfriend.....

"Speaking....."

"Past Girlfriend, this is Francis with Blah Blah Visa, and we are calling about a past due payment of $622.34."

(OH SHIT...This is not good!)

You know that moment of panic when you realize that something you have done so innocently has started to turn into something much bigger than you originally expected?

1. My first thought was to hang up, but I didn't want to get PAST GIRLFRIEND into trouble by making it look like she was avoiding paying her Visa.
2. My second thought was to say I would pay it, and thank them for calling...then contact PAST GIRLFRIEND via facebook (if I could find her) and tell her to pay her bill.

But my conscience won, and I fessed up....

"I have to be honest with you" I told Francis.  "I am not PAST GIRLFRIEND.  PAST GIRLFRIEND is my husband's ex-girlfriend who lived here over twenty years ago......I am so sorry!"

"Oh, this is not good....now you know what this is about." Snapped Francis. 

"I am sorry, I was just curious to know who was calling for PAST GIRLFRIEND!  I am not jealous or anything, I was just..."


"Well, if this ever happens again, I suggest you not play these games.  You have just committed fraud!"


So there you have it.  Curiosity killed the cat and made me commit fraud.  Everyone I have told this story to has found the humor in it...except Francis!  I suggest she lighten up a little.